You're just a problem
by PsionicSpiders
Summary: Humanstuck AU: When Vriska get's kicked out of her place once again, Karkat steps in and offers her a place to stay with him and Sollux in their large however, his grouchy friend and room-mate isn't too happy about letting someone he doesn't even know stay with Rated T for language, however the rating may go
1. Chapter 1

_How long is she going to keep talking? I'm not sure it's even words any more._

"Miss Serket?" The woman's strict piercing voice matched her stare as she looked at the girl.

"What?" She replied shortly.

"As I suspected, you haven't been listening." She spat. Vriska rolled her eyes, and the landlady rolled hers back. "I suppose I'll have to repeat myself."

_Oh great, more talking just what I w-_

"You are going to have to move out by the end of this month."

* * *

Her shift had ended early that day, she decided. Eridan would cover for her anyway, whether he liked it or not. She picked up her coat and her cell from the "Staff room" and headed out. The staff room was really more of a small room where they kept the coffee and other sorts of supplies for the pathetic excuse for a workplace, except Vriska and Eridan had a tendency to hide in there during the quiet hours. It had a back door for when they got deliveries, which was about once every week although they would sometimes come every two weeks. That was up to the manager, and seeing as the manager wasn't her, she never really bothered with looking too much in to it. She slipped out of the door and proceeded to send a message to her friend.

AG: Maryaaaaaaaam! I'm coming over, I have MAJOR news to discuss. ::::(

GA: I would ask if this could wait for later, but seeing as you included your arachnid-ified emoticon I suppose it can't

GA: You will have to excuse me however, I'm stuck babysitting Vantas

GA: SHE ISN'T BABYSITTING ME I'M JUST HERE, FUCK YOU.

GA: That was Karkat

GA: Also, I believe that "Fuck you" was directed at me

AG: I figured. Look, I'll be over in say...twenty minutes? Don't go out.

GA: I won't

She slammed her cheap flip-up phone closed and stuffed it in the pocket of her jeans, before making her way down town to Kanaya's apartment. She lived in a quieter area of the city, and it was a rather posh and expensive part too. Kanaya and her room-mate were really the only middle classed people who had lived there for as long as they had, most likely because of Kanaya's stable fashion business and her parter Rose helping her pay half of the rent. Vriska had been told many times that there was nothing going on between her friend and Rose, but Kanaya should know better than to lie to a liar. There were obvious signs of a relationship between the two girls and nobody could deny that, after all, "Just friends" don't sleep in the same bed in a two bedroomed apartment.

Once she arrived at the building, she walked up the not-so-surprisingly clean stairs to the 3rd floor and before knocking on the door and walking in. She could hear what she assumed was a terrible romantic comedy playing from the living room and walked in.

"She gets together with his best friend." Vriska stated, walking up and standing behind the white couch Kanaya and Karkat were sitting on.

Karkat promptly paused the playing movie and turned his head so he could see her.

"I'd be more pissed off at you ruining this movie if you hadn't just told me you were a rom-com fan." There was a familiar look of agitation on his face and in the tone of his voice. He had gained a little bit of weight since the last time she saw him, which was around three months ago. He wasn't fat, no far from it, but he was slightly chubby. With his smaller build and his practically eternal puppy-fat she admittedly found him rather cute. Of course, Vriska would only ever tell him that if she was teasing him, because then would there was less chance of him taking it seriously.

"Well now that we know how this terrible excuse for entertainment ends, we can switch it off." Kanaya smiled, obviously glad that Vriska had finally made an appearance and disturbed the playing film. Kanaya's smile could mean anything from "We're best friends and it's great to see you" to "I'm going to murder you violently with this plastic spoon."

"Oh fuck no, I still want to see the end of this."

"Well perhaps you can finish it with your new movie buddy next week Karkat, seeing as you two share the same tastes." She gave a teasing glance at Vriska.

"Oh there is no way I am going to Vriska's place and watching a movie with her, that is not happening. Not in this life, not in the next life and not in any fucking lives soon to come." He huffed, blowing a bit of dark hair out of his face.

"Yeah well it looks like I'm not going to my place either after a while." She put her hands on the back of the couch and leaned on it slightly.

"What do you mean? Vriska please don't be implying what I think you're implying." Kanaya said with a sense of motherly disappointment in her voice.

"Well if what you think I'm implying is that I got kicked out again, then yeah. I'm implying that." She sighed. "It's all because that bitch of a landlady hates my guts and wanted me out."

"Hasn't that been your excuse for every single place you've got kicked out of?" Karkat asked, a subtle tone of smugness emanating throughout his sentence.

"In any case, that's bad news. How long do you have to find a new place?"

"'Till the end of the month." Vriska replied. "So, about two weeks."

"You are kidding me aren't you?" An expression of shock took over the Virgo's face. "Vriska, It's going to take us forever to find something within your price range. Why don't you consider rooming with somebody?"

"Oh, because we all know what happened with that Nitram kid is something we want to happen again." Vriska said. This earned a slight grimace on her friend's face.

"Perhaps you shouldn't push people off of tall buildings in the future." Kanaya retorted, crossing her arms.

"It's not my fault!" Vriska almost shouted, flipping her dyed blue fringe out of her face. She made a mental note that she would have to pick up some more dye from the store on her way home as it had began to fade in to the blackness of her natural hair.

"It kind of is." She sighed. "Vriska. I am sick fed up of you getting kicked out of every place you ever live in, it's getting to the point where it is just ridiculous. How long where you in Park Drive? Two months?"

"Ladies, ladies stop bickering. God, it's like listening to a conversation that I'm in. I have a solution and because it's highly unlikely to be agreed to I'm going to offer it up." Karkat piped in. "You remember Feferi right?"

"I work with Ampora, do you think I can forget her?"

"Well about a year ago she bought this huge place, and she and Captor were living in it and I had to room with Captor because of complications blah blah blah long story short, she had to break it off with him and move but left us the place." He vaguely explained, now in a half sitting-half lying down position on the couch, looking up at her.

"Karkat, if you're implying what I think you're implying then that me-"

"Kanaya stop saying implying that's the fourth time in under ten minutes." Vriska butted in.

"Sorry, oh mighty implication police. I'll start again. Karkat, if you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting then that means tha-"

"Yeah, we might have a place for Vriska." Karkat said, cutting Kanaya off and leaving her with an irritated expression plastered on her face. "Of course, I'd have to get Sollux to agree and-"

"Who even is Sollux?"

"Will you let me speak?" Karkat barked.

"Ahem, both of you two had interrupted me, I don't think you're in any position to get mad here Karkat." Kanaya said bluntly. "In any case, that's wonderful news."

"Yeah, I guess. So Vriska if you're in tell me and I'll talk to Captor tonight."

Vriska, although not particularly sure about living with other people again, agreed. Karkat assured her that if she was allowed to move in with them that she'd have her own space and, because she'd be using Feferi's old room, her own small bathroom. He figured it would be a good idea to throw that in there just in case she'd feel uncomfortable keeping "All of her girly shit" in with the boys. Kanaya had laughed at his wording.

* * *

"No way. Not happening. I am not having some chick I don't even know coming in and sleeping in FF's room for god knows how long." He hadn't even looked up from his computer to reject Karkat's offer.

"It isn't Feferi's room anymore. She's not lived here for months." Karkat groaned, standing behind his friend. "Look, Sollux, I know you're upset that she had to leave but you need to accept that she isn't coming back. Ever."

"She will KK." He turned around in his swivelling desk chair. "FF promised that she'd come back."

"Yeah, to visit." The boy sighed. "I know that it's tough letting go of people you love, but you have to. She told you that she can't do long distance relationships and that she'd have taken you with her if you weren't sca-" He stopped mid sentence. Sollux had turned back around and had put on headphones and started to type again.

Karkat rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness and gave up, going over to the refrigerator. Sollux had packed it full of energy drinks, and there wasn't much else in there besides a suspicious looking block of cheese. Karkat mumbled something and closed the door to it. Deciding to go to sleep rather than to stay up trying to amuse himself with whatever came on the TV, which, judging by the time, wouldn't be any good anyway.

He utters a goodnight to his friend, even though he knows that he can't hear him, and goes in to his bedroom. He throws his phone on to the bed which he had forgotten to make earlier before stripping down to his grey boxers and sliding under the covers. He picked up his phone and sent a message.

CG: GOOD NEWS, YOU'VE GOT THE ROOM. GOODNIGHT.


	2. Chapter 2

"You told her _what?_" Captor hissed, his quickly paced typing ceased momentarily just so he could glare at his newly awoken, but still half asleep, room mate. He'd emerged from his room in his boxers and a loose black T-Shirt with a his zodiac sign, cancer, printed on it to which Sollux had a match to, only with his own sign plastered across the front in a mustard yellow. Neither of them could quite remember as to why they had matching t-shirts and they had pinned it down to something they had bought while drunk. They had then agreed never to talk about it again or to wear the shirts at the same time. Both boys tended to wear them to sleep or quickly threw them on in the morning however and that agreement fell through.

"I told her she could have the room. Jeez I know you have a whole duality thing going on but do I really need to say things twice?" He rubbed his eye before yawning and plopping down beside Sollux and his laptop on the couch. He picked up the remote from the table, turned on the TV and flicked through the channels, stopping on one of the film channels which said it would shortly be airing a Will Smith movie on the guide.

"No but apparently I do. I told you she isn't going to sleep in FF's room." Karkat groaned in response and Sollux resumed his typing. "Besides, if this chick-"

"Vriska. Her name is Vriska." The groggy boy spoke, half watching a movie that was already three quarters of the way through and half listening to Sollux.

"Vriska, right. So if Vriska stays here it's goodbye to the undies and hello to sweatpants. Again."

"Are you seriously saying that?" He turned to face his friend who had once again, stopped typing. "Are you seriously bringing up your hatred of sweatpants and acting like I'm going to give two flying pieces of bat guano? Fucking hell Captor, you pop one boner in gym class and you never get over it, do you?"

"They made me do a demonstration KK. I had to do a demonstration of fucking table tennis with a massive erection." This gained a snort of laughter and a typical response of Karkat assuring his friend that it wasn't and never will fall under the category of 'Massive'.

"I don't care how big or how small you think my dick is you cocksucking asswipe all I'm saying is that Vriska is not living with us and that is not open to discussion."

"Look, Sollux. She needs a place and she has two fucking weeks to find one in her price range, and she works at a god damn coffee shop. Do you think that she has any chance?"

"Can't she stay with people who know her?"

"She isn't exactly the most popular person."

"And?"

"And I might be the only person who's able to help her!"

Sollux let out an exasperated sigh. He hadn't met the girl, but he had heard stories of her from a few of his friends and that alone was enough to tell him that he didn't want her residing under the same roof as him. That being said, his best friend seemed adamant to help her. His expression said it all.

"Fine, if you're going to pull this pseudo hero bullshit then fine, she can stay. On one condition."

"Name it." Karkat said, glad to have Sollux finally agree to this. Not like he would have given him an option, it just made things a lot easier. There was a reason "Ass" was such a suitable insult for Sollux after all.

"You're not allowed to screw her while I'm on the premises." The sound of Karkat's palm hitting his forehead was followed by a snort of Sollux's half laugh.

"Well shit, I was planning on having ripping off her clothes and having rough kinky sex with her on the kitchen table the moment she stepped through the door. You've gone and ruined all of my plans Captor. Oh, woe is me! I'll never be able to fuck Vriska Serket, not because I had no intentions to in the first place but because you forbade it." So much sarcasm leaked through Karkat's sentence that Sollux was sure he could smell it. He made a mental note that sarcasm smells of blueberry cookies.

"I didn't forbid it per say, I said "Not while I'm on the premises" jeez KK, what an over reaction." Sollux smirked. "But seriously, if you guys do end up doing the nasty just make sure it's A, in your room and B, quiet."

"You never leave the house, saying that is pretty much the same as forbidding it." Karkat sighed, turning down the volume as the movie switched to an advert. Adverts during films always irritated him, but neither of them wanted to pay the extra money so that Karkat could watch movies he already owned on the movie channels. "And just why should I? Every time you've ever fucked someone while I'm trying to sleep you're louder than a fucking air raid siren. I'm starting to think that you do that shit deliberately."

Sollux gave a cheesy wink and Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Fine okay I see your point. Just make sure you give her the room mate agreement plan."

"You mean the "Make sure nobody touches any of Sollux's shit agreement which I was forced to sign regardless of whether I was going to or not" plan? I'll make sure I pass on the memo."

There was a momentary silence between the two before Karkat's movie started to play again and he turned the volume up. The boy next to him typed a few more lines of coding before finally deciding he needed to get dressed. He put his laptop to the side and stood up, stretching his arms before going through to his room. He threw on a pair of jeans and a mismatched pair of socks. There was no reason to change his shirt, it wasn't dirty and it didn't look like it had been slept in. Besides, he wasn't going to be out for long. He never was.

"Going somewhere?" Karkat questioned as Sollux slipped on his shoes at the front door.

"Out of coffee." Sollux answered.

"Say no more." He turned his attention back to Will Smith. Sollux was fairly caffeine dependant and, although there was always an abundance of energy drinks in the refrigerator, leaving him without coffee wasn't something Karkat was either prepared for or about to do.

Sollux unlocked the door and left the apartment. He was going to a small shop at the end of the street. It wasn't owned by a big business, in fact Sollux was fairly sure it was family run, but it had pretty much everything he needed. It only sold various teas and coffees and it was cheap for good quality coffee. Sollux had never bought the tea from there, after all he wasn't a tea person, but he assumed it was fairly nice leaf juice. He had become a regular at the small store which was something he never thought he would be, but apparently that's what you are when the cashier knows your name and smiles whenever you enter.

It only took him only a few minutes to get to Cubes and Tea and to beeline straight for where the coffee was kept. On the shelf, the coffee was placed right where his arm was, meaning he didn't have to either bend down or reach up. Not that he often had to reach up to grab something from shelves in a store. He picked up a container of his usual brand and made towards the till.

"Hey Sollux!" The girl behind the counter beamed. She was the type of person who would give a genuine smile at pretty much everyone and everything, Sollux called these types of people Smilers. It was easy to identify a Smiler, they had to be pretty much the exact opposite of himself.

"Hey NP. KK told me to thank you for the birthday present you got him like a month ago. He would have done it himself if he wasn't such a lazy fucking bag of shit."

_Or if you stopped staring at him with a weird amount of affection every time you see him._

The redhead giggled, not being able to hear Sollux's mental addition. A common trait of the Smiler was giggling.

"Not a problem, so how are you guys?" She asked, it was obvious she was a little hurt that Karkat hadn't thanked her himself, but she seemed happy that he remember to thank her at all.

"Apparently we're getting a new room mate." Sollux sighed, putting the coffee down on the counter."Some chick named Vriska."

"Vriska?" Nepeta raised her eyebrows in shocked disbelief. "Vriska Serket?"

"Probably. Why, do you know her or something?"

"She used to live next door to Equius, so I've spoken to her a few times." The usual cheery tone from Nepeta's voice had practically disappeared. Sollux got the impression that Nepeta didn't like her, and when Nepeta Leijon doesn't like someone then it's quite apparent that they are not to be liked. He had to suppress a groan.

"Sollux..." Noticing that another customer was waiting for service, Nepeta reached for the coffee and scanned it. "Be careful around her. She's dangerous."

"I'll remember that." He said, putting his hand in his pocket and pulling out the money to pay for his coffee. He said a quick goodbye and left to head back home. It looked like it was about to rain at any moment and he silently cussed. He walked a little faster than he usually would have, simply due to the fact he didn't want to be that one idiot stuck in the rain without an umbrella.

For the majority of the walk home he found himself thinking about this mysterious and dangerous Vriska Serket.


End file.
